04 Oct Thinking about Dating apps? Listen to my wife’s advice…
Recently we were at a friend’s birthday party, met a few of my old friends. One of my friends was looking to date but wasn’t sure about using a dating app and was pondering if it was a good idea or not. Since our marriage happened because of a dating app, She turned to my wife for advice.
I was happily surprised with the detail my wife explained the whole thing, it was like re-living those good old days all over again. I thought of sharing this for all who are looking to be on a dating app. Here’s a part conversation (because the whole story full of all the lovely memories will take hours)
Here is what my beautiful wife had to say-
“I had always thought online dating was a disaster and was dead against it.
But that’s the irony of life …what you resist persists!
A friend of mine found her husband on Woo, and she insisted I try it… She even told me how to go about it; and said I should gauge people’s intentions before I chat with them too much.
I remained adamant for a while…along while… It took her almost three months to convince me, before I actually downloaded the app, and started using it.
My safety was paramount
What I liked about Woo is that it reveals only your initials; and it’s you who can decide who and when you want to give out your full name to.
Many of Woo’s features made me feel safe… For instance, it doesn’t ask you to write too much about yourself. It only gives out very basic information on your profile page.
My concerns were not so much about the app, as about the kind of people I would meet on it… Because I wasn’t primarily looking for casual dating, but something more serious and long-term.
To my dismay, for the first month, I met all the wrong people on the app.
So, I stopped using it for a bit, and was just about to uninstall it, when my well-meaning friend intervened once again… she asked me to be patient, and said: ‘Trust me, it works.’
A woman’s concerns
My major apprehension about dating apps was that you can be perceived as ‘desperate’…and that’s not the impression you want people to have about you.
Woo was the first and last dating app I downloaded.
I also didn’t tell many people I was on it…just a few close friends.
When on the app, I took many precautions… I didn’t exchange numbers or meet with anyone, other than my now husband Ankit.
I was cautious throughout, trying to understand and figure out the person I was chatting with, before giving details about myself.
A gift on my birthday!
Then, one fine day — which also happened to be my birthday — I saw Ankit’s profile and liked it. He liked mine in return, and we started chatting.
I liked the fact that Ankit didn’t ask for my number even once while we chatted… He waited till I was comfortable enough to call him first.
We chatted for two full weeks, mostly on the app’s chat platform.
All the while, that we were chatting he was in another city… When he finally returned to Mumbai, we started meeting.
We both are gluttons.
What I liked about Ankit and me was that we both had a lot of similarities.
We are both foodies, and equally passionate about the same stuff… We share the same wavelength and values.
We were also both honest with each other right from the start, and we both had the same intentions of wanting a long-term relationship, and not something frivolous.
Everything went so smoothly after connecting, that before we knew it we were together.
We dated for a year and a half before we married…
We both just knew we had to be together!
Be on your guard
After my success story, I mentioned Woo to a few friends and family, who did try using the app too.
But not everyone has good experiences, and it needn’t work for everyone.
It’s genuinely hard to meet nice people nowadays, other than through common friends…
Through apps you also worry about people’s genuineness. Hence, it’s important for women to be very cautious…
One needs to do a lot of cross-checking before getting involved with anyone, and revealing too many details.
You shouldn’t give out your phone number to someone until you’re convinced… Facebook and LinkedIn are good ways to know more about the person’s background, and check for common friends.
A gentle nudge into the future
Ankit and I have been married for a year and a half now…
Earlier, I would have thought a dating app was the last place I would find my life partner… It was really the most unexpected thing to happen to me!
But the app works well… It just gives you the basic info, and lets you discover the rest about the person.
Also, once you like the person and he likes you back, a chat window opens up, that nudges you gently into taking the next step.
I happened to get lucky by going further, and found my life partner here… I wish other women the same luck with the app too!”